Acupuncture by Fire … Happy Frackin' Valentine's Day

First a Valentine's poem…

Acupuncture By Fire

Falling into romantic love will bring great pleasure but falling out of romantic love … or worse having someone else fall out of romantic love with you … while you still fancy them … brings suffering and tears. But whether or not you have someone to canoodle with on this most forced and expensive day of celebration … Valentine's Day is no cause for suffering.

So if we find you lovelorn and not madly rushing about to find that thing that will prove just how much you love your significant other … I'm here to help.

Actually I can help the shoppers too … flowers and food … yeah that's the big secret that we all know and yet stress over.

But for the lovelorn … First what NOT to do.

Drink … 

Yes for about hour you'll feel great and then the euphoria will drop and you will either have to pick a fight and risk messing up that pretty face or fall into a despair so deep that it will have you rending your clothes. 

I'm not kidding …

Poor Che … he never saw it coming.

And don't do what I did … I did and did some more

Phantom Gestation

Do not think about him or her and worse pray for Mr. or Ms. Didn't-know-how-good-they-had-it to return. If you've been told it's over ... or you know it should be over because the object of your affection is emotionally and/or physically abusive … let the hopes, memories, and recriminations go. Let the thoughts go.

I'll say it one more time let the thoughts go.

I grant there may need for some self-reflection so we do not repeat destructive patterns. Write about the experience or have a talk with supportive friend or counsellor. But there comes the time when self-reflection becomes self-destructive rumination and gains a life force of its own. Don't feed what Eckhart Tolle calls the pain-body with your thoughts. The pain-body cannot be satiated … it's never full … there's only starving it. 

Now I'm talking about thoughts … not feelings.

You have to feel your feelings or they get swallowed up by the body and become disease or escape as anger. Scientist have studied what goes on in the brain when you fall in love. With the hormones produced you are in actuality in an addictive state. You depend on the physical presence of your loved one to feel good. You will need some time for the addiction to go away.

You could throw yourself into another relationship and use transference  … the methadone of romantic healing.

In my experience this is only escapism and does not offer a permanent solution. At some point you will have to finish feeling your grief. But scientist have also discovered that all your feelings at their root are hormones fuelled by bio-electical charge.

That's right … they're just energy. Thoughts plus energy equals feelings.

Don't refuel your grief with thoughts and it will expand and then dissipate. You'll cry … you'll cry a lot. But you will heal and you'll be left with the confidence that you can weather future romantic endeavours and knowing you have the strength to heal.

Heart

We are her to love and learn. Alas the learning can be painful at times. We've all been there or will be shortly; so remember you're in good company and never alone ... even on Valentine's day.

Stupid holiday …

That's it for now … please like, share, and comment. And let me know if there's something you'd like me to look in to.

Remember you heart only gets all the more chic with wear.

Happy Frackin' Valentine's Day. Blessings.