Friday, 8 May 2015

Desperately Seeking a Good Twig Provider

Welcome to Tales from the Tragic Sip … otherwise known as … Dating for existential and angst ridden, spiritualist … no atheist … no spiritualist no atheist … no agnostic … yeah agnostic … Dating for the spiritually undecided. Me … single, white female in search of male; ethnicity not important, as we’ll all crumble to a dark beige dust, otherwise known as dirt, once the stink of mortal decay wears off … unless you’re lucky enough to perish in the desert; there conversion is most expedient; if you kick off in the Arctic you’ll be stuck with your crusty bones until continental shift sees fit to deliver you to Tahiti or rather to where Tahiti no longer is. Space and time is an illusion … but where was I … I … I … right … me single, white female .. although I do tan extraordinarily well ... looking for a male who loves to spend extended periods of time in the half-lotus staring into one another’s third eye looking for eternity and ultimate oneness. After you decide that there’s just only so much oneness your sciatica can stand … I’ll write something like this. 

Musing on Romantic Love

Lust it is not, not even close
Grief lingers, years, a decade
A lifetime … and linger, linger
Nothing but weeping remains

So I ask, the pain rushing
Cutting, burning caustic
Mercury, quicksilver sharp
Why this love romantic

I’m going to stop the poem here to warn you what follows is almost complete and utter balderdash. What can I say; I read far too many romance novels as a teenager. In my defence they were mostly historical romance and so I kick-ass at trivia and know a whole lot about dead queens and kings. But all that reading about romantic love taught me next to nothing about how it really works.  

Musing on Romantic Love (cont.)

Other loves are born
Or that which is earned
Romantic love is an offering
A soul laid bare
A bravest of rebuff
To the demon that is fear

Nothing gambled
Nothing gained
Nothing lost

The loss, at times, unbearable
But the gain
The lessons learned
The essence of why we’re here

Okay not as much balderdash as promised. Romantic love is an offering and given the risks it runs … the despair of a broken heart … most certainly a rebuff to fear. But it is almost always a temporary condition. Evolution has set it up so that the unaware individual is likely develop a wandering eye.  

Here comes the birds …

Like humans birds have a tendency to form long-lasting pair bonds. They will often bond for life. Genetic testing confirms, however, they like to spread it around bit while their beloved is out looking for just the right twig to place beneath their nesting bottom. Why? Because genetic diversity improves the chances that your offspring will survive. In short the more partners you produce offspring with the more diversity. But before you give the old woman who lived in a shoe a run for her money, be aware; evolution is autopilot; you do not have to run on autopilot … because like the old woman you’ll end up living in a shoe.

The pursuit of romantic love and its creative outcome, although certainly worth the effort, is not the sole reason you’re here. There are over 7 billion of us. We’ve got procreation down. If the right partner is not finding you … you can leave it to your cousins to act the genetic photocopier and explore other creative avenues.

But what about the longing …

We are not just flesh and bones but rather energy that has coalesced to flesh and bones. Have you ever wondered why a particular beauty with a great personality is unable to inspire romantic feelings in you. Everything’s right but there’s no chemistry. That’s because the energy is not right. We fall in love with the essence of someone … their energy … and like an addiction become dependent on it.  

So here is the big secret … drum roll please

You meditate to find a still energy … calm and peace … you can also use your mind to create the energy of the object of your affection or (a very near facsimile). We're all connected, meaning our energies are connected. The right thought without judgement will quickly have you feeling the very same as being in the arms of the one you fancy. It’s like magic … only it works. The trick is accepting that energy as valuable, as valuable as the physical presence of the one you adore. Remember we’re energetic beings first. Feed the hunger with the energy it craves; the longing will go; you’ll be free to explore as many experiences as imaginary time will allow. 

You're the beloved of the universe; accept this and the physical manifestations of it will follow. 


  1. " Its like magic, only it works " tut tut... You are wise enough to know better...meditation is too a close cousin here. Love is the strongest magic there is. It will mould your world . ; )

  2. I thoroughly enjoyed this -- from the beginning, to the end, found it clever, funny, and well presented.